We know I am dating a number of different people. Since FM and I stopped sleeping together, I’ve been celibate. It’s not been that long, three weeks maybe four.
I have this thing . . . I don’t sleep with more than one man in a cycle. So, I am cleared to sleep with someone new and it’s just figuring out who. Essentially, I am dating a pool of people, and ultimately, I will pick one to sleep with.
Which I did.
Going into the weekend, I was not entirely certain who it would be. I was pretty convinced it would be either the Bon Vivant or my Video Date.
But let’s be really honest . . . it was sort of always going to be BV. We’ve been seeing each other now for weeks. We laid all the groundwork on our “second date,” including a discussion of std status — both recently tested, both negative.
He’s this amazing combination of stuff I love and that compels me. He became, at some point, my guy.
Things still feel unsettled, of course.
I get super-paranoid at the start of a relationship. I can never quite wrap my mind around whether I’ll ever see him again, whether he wants to see me again, what if anything it all means.
Also, suffering from massive pms . . .
But, we have this connection that’s intense. In fact, he mentioned on our marathon date that his intensity is often a problem for people. Ha. It’s exactly the same problem I have. And so we share the fact that we are super-intense, marginally difficult people.
And it’s good.
Like, it’s really good.
BV became ill when I was spending the night at his house: high fever, shakes, cramps, shortness of breath, rapid heart rate, that he attributed to alcohol poisoning. I was not convinced and I was worried, so I offered to hang out at his place, fetch things from the nearby market, etc. I spent the whole day with him in bed, holding him. Occasionally, he awoke from a brief nap, convinced I was lying about the fact he’d been asleep.
Around 4, he willed himself to get up, take a shower, and get us out of the house. Which we did. He was so grateful for my care, acknowledging had I not been there, he would have not taken care of himself and would have been much, much more ill.
So, I have no idea where my adding BV to the short list of men I’ve slept with may lead, if anywhere. I do know I like him a lot. I know he likes me. We were both a little freaked out not that we’d had sex but that we’d been a little reckless about it. We assured each other there was nothing to fear, but it’s not a good position to be in. He had brought it up late Saturday afternoon, and I am glad we spoke about it.
As for where we go from here, everything will sort itself out. I may see him again only to retrieve the black cocktail dress I left at his place, or to spend another night at his place downtown.
Regardless of what happens, I am glad I made the choice I did and I have loved the time we’ve spent together.