Last week, my best guy friend Jerk Face lost his mother. We had a funeral mass one day and then a couple of days later a memorial celebration. And then we got him epically wasted.

It’s been a rough time for him, obviously, and my main focus for a week has been him.


[The afternoon BV contacted me: it was between the funeral mass and meeting up for cocktails with our family of friends. I was incapable of working, and happy for the distraction of worrying about something else, even someone as now insignificant as the Bon Vivant.]

Among the rest of our family of friends, it’s been challenging. We are all ridiculously close and have been for more than 15 years. We did not know his mother. I met her socially, as she’s a prominent philanthropist, and I helped organize an awards luncheon in her honor a couple of years ago. It was lovely, and my mother flew in, as a matter of fact, and sat at my table.

But, we did not know her and we learned a lot about their relationship. As a result, we are actually all closer.

I learned a lot about myself, too. Funerals put a lot of things into perspective.

I focus on events in times of strife, geared as I am to make sure that everyone is happy and having a good time, no matter the circumstances. So, I planned a birthday luncheon for W for the day of JF’s mom’s memorial, which JF attended, and then coordinated dinner among the family of friends and then the party post-memorial. When they flipped the lights on after 2 am, everyone was drunk (and cabbing) and happy after drinking and dancing all night. The upscale lounge, at which W and JF are regulars, sent over bottles of champagne and we had dedicated servers all night in our raised vip area. It went as well as such a thing could have gone.

My original plan had been to bounce after a couple of drinks post-memorial, and then meet up with LP and spend the night with him.

That . . . didn’t happen. He canceled on me as soon as he got back from his trip the day before. His ex made sure he had his child, and our plans evaporated. Poof.

Instead, I had a great meal with W, S, C, and C’s wife and then bounced with them to the lounge across the street. JerkFace was there with a few old friends. Over the course of the evening, about 30 people rolled through. Everyone there for JerkFace. It was beautiful.

It’s hard to describe just how happy we all were to be together on Friday night. My heart was filled with joy, bursting with happiness, just because we were all together.

That’s my lasting memory from the hard week, heart filled with joy, surrounded by people I love who love each other — and me.

I have been struggling with overcoming the past three years of failure, despite having been the star among my crew. They still see me that way, but, as this is my family, they also know my circumstances have changed. That burbled up from time to time, but I felt loved and supported.

And, yet, despite the roughness of the week, and all of the emotion, and all of the responsibilities and obligations to be there for JerkFace, his girl, W, and anyone else who needed support, we were all happy to be together, to be there, to be proud of JerkFace for rising to the occasion and delivering an amazing eulogy that managed to be a testament to his mother, his love of his father, and to our family of friends.

On Saturday, I went out with the HotBlonde, the Software Developer, and FM and had a really great night. It was fun and we stayed until nearly 2 am, but I am focused on all of the real happening. I am not sleeping. I am not dating. I am not being particularly social, except when I can distract myself with parties or events, especially arrangements and plans I need to make. I am focused on real. Real life, real friends, real family.

[The afternoon BV contacted me: it was between the funeral mass and meeting up for cocktails with our family of friends. I was incapable of working, and happy for the distraction of worrying about something else, even someone as now insignificant as the Bon Vivant.]

Among the rest of our family of friends, it’s been challenging. We are all ridiculously close and have been for more than 15 years. We did not know his mother. I met her socially, as she’s a prominent philanthropist, and I helped organize an awards luncheon in her honor a couple of years ago. It was lovely, and my mother flew in, as a matter of fact, and sat at my table.

But, we did not know her and we learned a lot about their relationship. As a result, we are actually all closer.

I learned a lot about myself, too. Funerals put a lot of things into perspective.

I focus on events in times of strife, geared as I am to make sure that everyone is happy and having a good time, no matter the circumstances. So, I planned a birthday luncheon for W for the day of JF’s mom’s memorial, which JF attended, and then coordinated dinner among the family of friends and then the party post-memorial. When they flipped the lights on after 2 am, everyone was drunk (and cabbing) and happy after drinking and dancing all night. The upscale lounge, at which W and JF are regulars, sent over bottles of champagne and we had dedicated servers all night in our raised vip area. It went as well as such a thing could have gone.

My original plan had been to bounce after a couple of drinks post-memorial, and then meet up with LP and spend the night with him.

That . . . didn’t happen. He canceled on me as soon as he got back from his trip the day before. His ex made sure he had his child, and our plans evaporated. Poof.

Instead, I had a great meal with W, S, C, and C’s wife and then bounced with them to the lounge across the street. JerkFace was there with a few old friends. Over the course of the evening, about 30 people rolled through. Everyone there for JerkFace. It was beautiful.

It’s hard to describe just how happy we all were to be together on Friday night. My heart was filled with joy, bursting with happiness, just because we were all together.

That’s my lasting memory from the hard week, heart filled with joy, surrounded by people I love who love each other — and me.

I have been struggling with overcoming the past three years of failure, despite having been the star among my crew. They still see me that way, but, as this is my family, they also know my circumstances have changed. That burbled up from time to time, but I felt loved and supported.

And, yet, despite the roughness of the week, and all of the emotion, and all of the responsibilities and obligations to be there for JerkFace, his girl, W, and anyone else who needed support, we were all happy to be together, to be there, to be proud of JerkFace for rising to the occasion and delivering an amazing eulogy that managed to be a testament to his mother, his love of his father, and to our family of friends.

On Saturday, I went out with the HotBlonde, the Software Developer, and FM and had a really great night. It was fun and we stayed until nearly 2 am, but I am focused on all of the real happening. I am not sleeping. I am not dating. I am not being particularly social, except when I can distract myself with parties or events, especially arrangements and plans I need to make. I am focused on real. Real life, real friends, real family.

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