That’s really the bottom line.

I misspoke this afternoon, and I maybe kinda sorta re-opened a door I’d not intended.

Soooo . . .

We know I am working on a project with the Bon Vivant for the Big Fucking Deal.  BFD wants it to be rather cloak-and-dagger, which makes BV nervous.  Understandably.

BFD finally gives me the information BV needs on Wednesday, which is a day I am typically downtown.  Because of some delays and fucked up things this week, money is ridiculously tight for me, so I am being cautious about heading downtown too much.  I text BV to find out if we can meet.  Twenty minutes later, I get a completely bizarre response: “Call u soon. At gym”

What the what?!

This is the Bon Vivant, who, when I was dating him spent his days sleeping until 3, drinking until 2 am, watching movies etc until 5 am, lather rinse repeat.

I find his response utterly charming.

He doesn’t call me or text me before 5, so I decided to stay home.

At 947, I get a series of silly and bizarre texts from him.  As I put them together, I realize he went to the CHB to see me, but I wasn’t there.

At 950:

BV: Well. Cool. Enjoy [street CHB is on]. I’ll be […]. Wish we would have tried to met up 9:51 PM
Me: That’s why I called you this afternoon, silly, but you never got back to me. I am home.9:52 PM
Me: I’ll be downtown all day tomorrow and then at [new bar] watching the draft. When can we meet? 9:53 PM
Me: Still […]? 9:57 PM
BV: Where are u now 9:57 PM
Me: on my sofa ([neighborhood]). 9:58 PM
BV: Bummer 10:04 PM
Me: Why? Are there fun things afoot? 10:04 PM
BV: Always 10:36 PM
Me: truth. if you’re around, i am sure there is fun happening. 10:36 PM

He called me this afternoon, unexpectedly, at 331.  I had been about to text him when the phone rang.  He sounded great — focused, clear, and excited.  He was waiting for a friend to pick him up — he did not say from where.  He’d gotten an early birthday present — a concert ticket from “my friend [guy he’d mentioned before]” to see the big show in town — a legend at the best theater in town in the CH.  He was “doing dinner and drinks first with friends” and then the show.  He mentioned specifically my plans, including the bar name, and said we’d try to meet up .  He’d cll me around 5 to confirm.  He just wasn’t sure it was going to work with all the stuff going on tonight.  He said tomorrow would be better.

I told him how excited I was for him.  He said, because I am a year older?! I said, no, because you get to see [legend], which is such a great present!

We talked more about the project and laughed about the fact it’s a sealed dossier, which I have still not opened.

When I asked his schedule for friday, he said, well, I am getting my hair cut, which is the only thing on my agenda.

I laughed, and I said, “I love you, you’re hilarious.”  As I realized what I said, I added quickly: “I love your schedule.” At the same moment, he said,  sincerely”I love you too, [Plan].”



I do love him, of course.  I still do.  I never stopped.

But, that’s not at all what I meant.  I meant you’re awesome.  He heard . . . and responded to . . . “I love you.”

He reminded me when his bday is.  I lied and said, I had already calendared it.  I hadn’t.  I knew approximately when it was, but hadn’t noted the specific day.  He asked what I was going to get him for his birthday.  I laughed and said I’d think of something.  He agreed, well you know what I like.  To which I agreed.

We both mean it, of course.  I do know what he likes.  I got him a great present before, imbued with meaning.

And now, I am going to have to do something for his birthday . . .