Amusingly, I have moments when I have handwritten diary entries into my work journal.

It is always in the wake of PR.


And yet, I never think I have deep feelings for him.

I think I have shallow feelings for him, but he’s largely the reason I found BV attractive.  I mean, as silly as that sounds as BV is a handsome man, he does have PR’s greying, balding, lazily facial-haired thing going.  Also, short.

I watched footage of PR performing today . . . BMG, PR JR and I are all on screen, too.  It’s adorable.

We are trying not to laugh.  Rather we are trying not to audibly laugh.  It’s really funny, though, and the guys are laughing on camera.  The biggest laughs are during the reading of their bio.  The event is so serious, and their bio contains jokes only we know.  It’s awesome.

I love hanging with PR and that whole crew.  They’re amazing and brilliant and lovely.

When I describe people as “lovely,” it’s probably time to admit I am drinking.

Which I am.


I am *way* overspending on this solo date, which is okay because even way overspending on two glasses of excellent wine and amazing food at happy hour . . .  with a generous tip, is about $27.

I am having a fabulous solo date, and I am really enjoying myself for very little money at a 5 star resort.  I know I forgot to mention where I am, but I am at the Hotel . . . the one at which I would get married.  That one.

I used to come here a lot.  It’s elegant.  The service is exquisite.  I always have champagne here on my birthday.  It’s very ladies who lunch and the view is beautiful.  It’s literally TWO blocks from BV’s building, but it feels so much further away than that.  It’s not a drop in place, where you’d stop while barhopping.  It’s set back off the road at the top of a slight hill.  It has presence.

The GM and I have a kinda mutual crush, and even when he’s not there, as he’s not on a Monday, I do feel very comfortable here even without getting escorted through and introduced to everyone.

It’s rather quiet, it’s very girlie, but the food and wine are amazing.

I start taking notes on the wine as I sit there.   I have decided to get reengaged in wine.  When BV was last in town, we opened a beautiful bottle and I remembered how much I love a great bottle of wine.  I have gone for wine a few times recently, but I do tend to drink champagne.

I have two glasses of amazing wine, and three others I try.  I also have two small fish  dishes as I put on 7 pounds in the three maddening days when I was staying downtown.  It’s mostly salt and coming off quickly, but still, I am carefully watching my weight hoping that I can lose before BV comes home.

He doesn’t care what I weigh, this is my thing, but I want to look my best when I see him.  And I feel heavy now.

. . .