I am numb, but not an unhealthy numb. I am focused on a world of things that have nothing to do with the Bon Vivant.
I am through with him, at least for now, and perhaps forever.
Our relationship has fundamentally changed, as I see him differently: His charms are not quite as charming. His bad behavior finally left a mark.
Not physically, of course, but he hurt me and still does not know that he did or how. It started beautifully, and ended horribly. As such things do.
I am treating him like a friend. I had decided I was going to tell him what he did, and what it meant, but I needed to do it face to face. I called him Tuesday afternoon . . . when he was in the airport on a trip I did not know he was taking. He flew home. Hopefully to recover, to heal, to figure this all out.
What I realized is that I can’t do this anymore.