I have made a momentous decision, which I began implementing yesterday.
I feel like an idiot for not getting here sooner. Now that I am here — or at least on the cusp of “here” — I am only surprised it took me so long.
For several years, I have been impoverished and suffering, having abandoned my somewhat lucrative career to pursue a dream. It fell apart, and I was shattered and well I have struggled, along with the economy, ever since.
As of yesterday, I decided to go back to that old career, putting these dreams on the back-burner.
As soon as I made the decision and hung up with the licensing authority that enables all of it to happen . . . I was relieved and excited. I realized that part of my identity, from which I had long fled, is tied up in this profession. It’s important to other people, an easy signifier of success, a short-hand. I preferred being an entrepreneur and a corporate consultant. My life has been filled with glamour, but I never made more money than as a lawyer. The dreams of start-up life success went unfulfilled.
And, so I am returning to my old life. I’ve reached out to a few people in my social network, quietly, and I already have some interest. I am working with my girlfriends C and RA to put a marketing plan together.
I am actually hopeful that I will be solvent in a matter of days if not weeks. It’s an amazing thing to consider: real life again. Living a lifestyle I enjoy, meeting my obligations, being free.
I have learned a lot of valuable lessons, and I am ready to take this head-on.