I have made a momentous decision, which I began implementing yesterday.

I feel like an idiot for not getting here sooner.  Now that I am here — or at least on the cusp of “here” — I am only surprised it took me so long.

For several years, I have been impoverished and suffering, having abandoned my somewhat lucrative career to pursue a dream.  It fell apart, and I was shattered and well I have struggled, along with the economy, ever since.

As of yesterday, I decided to go back to that old career, putting these dreams on the back-burner.

As soon as I made the decision and hung up with the licensing authority that enables all of it to happen . . . I was relieved and excited.  I realized that part of my identity, from which I had long fled, is tied up in this profession.  It’s important to other people, an easy signifier of success, a short-hand.  I preferred being an entrepreneur and a corporate consultant.  My life has been filled with glamour, but I never made more money than as a lawyer.  The dreams of start-up life success went unfulfilled.

And, so I am returning to my old life.  I’ve reached out to a few people in my social network, quietly, and I already have some interest.  I am working with my girlfriends C and RA to put a marketing plan together.

I am actually hopeful that I will be solvent in a matter of days if not weeks.  It’s an amazing thing to consider: real life again.  Living a lifestyle I enjoy, meeting my obligations, being free.

I have learned a lot of valuable lessons, and I am ready to take this head-on.