It’s always smart to write a blog post from bed, lying next to the man about whom I am writing/whining.
I am trying to figure out why I am here. It may be as simple he’s handsome and I’m bored.
My girlfriend C teased me that he’s “Man-Planner” and she’s right.
TED is the male version of me, except he’s better looking and higher maintenance. I am more adventurous and enthusiastic than he is.
Still, we look right together. We are — on paper — a great match. And yet, as he sleeps next to me, his face less than 12 inches from mine, I am contemplating only how I get home from here and lamenting having ended up here in the first place.
We are just not good together. We don’t make each other better. We don’t improve the other’s life. We are just together because we are sort of supposed to be.
He is objectively handsome. I am very attracted to him, and yet, I am bored.
We explore new things, but he’s just not that adventurous.
Maybe after the Bon Vivant normal looks dull.
But, this feels dull.
We are not connecting. We did not have sex last night. We did not even really kiss, but we held hands everywhere we were.
We have a comfortable physical intimacy, but the no-sex thing was unexpected.
We had been drinking and smoking, which certainly affects him. I think I recall him saying offhandedly that it was not going to happen but I was still a little surprised.
He’s sort of just arm candy to me, a man to drag along to events. He dragged me to this show last night and we did dinner at a new hip spot in his hipster hood. Actually we shared a beer — we don’t drink much — and picked up food to go before coming back here to watch a movie and drink champagne.
On balance, the date looked excellent: a show he really wanted to see, dinner at a new hip spot, a great bottle of champagne, but it was not that easy. Getting to the date was complicated. I was annoyed that I’d not seen him in weeks. We were finally both free.
But the reality is that I am bored.
I have decided to start actively dating other people. I may keep TED around as a date for events, but I am done thinking of him as a romantic possibility.