I keep having this recurring problem: I keep forgetting that I have a boyfriend.

He is not officially my boyfriend. That takes a discussion, “the conversation. ”

And, I am actively seeing other people.

And yet, when RA sent me a text in all caps saying “you are not single” she was right. And I was wrong.

No matter how many other men I’m dating, no matter how many other men i am sleeping with, no matter how many other men I speak to, I’m not single.

That fact surprises me daily.

I act as though I’m single. I treat him as if I’m single. I treat everyone else is if I’m single.

I am not single.

I almost ended things with GT tonight. There’s a holiday coming up, I want to make plans with him, and he was being an idiot.

He wasn’t being an idiot exactly. He was being a man. More importantly, he was being a man who expected to spend the holiday with his girlfriend. I was being an idiot.

Instead of making this easy, i made it difficult. And then I got angry. And decided that I wanted to end it.

Because we are dating, I didn’t want to just end it via a text. I felt I owed him phone call, and the chance to explain what “I’ll let you know.” meant.