I keep having this recurring problem: I keep forgetting that I have a boyfriend.
He is not officially my boyfriend. That takes a discussion, “the conversation. ”
And, I am actively seeing other people.
And yet, when RA sent me a text in all caps saying “you are not single” she was right. And I was wrong.
No matter how many other men I’m dating, no matter how many other men i am sleeping with, no matter how many other men I speak to, I’m not single.
That fact surprises me daily.
I act as though I’m single. I treat him as if I’m single. I treat everyone else is if I’m single.
I am not single.
I almost ended things with GT tonight. There’s a holiday coming up, I want to make plans with him, and he was being an idiot.
He wasn’t being an idiot exactly. He was being a man. More importantly, he was being a man who expected to spend the holiday with his girlfriend. I was being an idiot.
Instead of making this easy, i made it difficult. And then I got angry. And decided that I wanted to end it.
Because we are dating, I didn’t want to just end it via a text. I felt I owed him phone call, and the chance to explain what “I’ll let you know.” meant.