So, “date 4” with the Writer is on the books and we are not going to see each other until the next week.

He has a very high profile thing he’s doing the next night. To which he did not invite me.  Which makes sense, but completely bums me out.

I compensate by accepting a first date with someone who looks interesting. The Writer and I end up one block apart on my side of town, but our paths do not cross. Which is good. I get a little tipsy and end up making out with my date and setting a date for the weekend (Sunday, as I had plans already for Friday with the lawyer and Saturday with my friends).

I have a high profile thing I am doing on Thursday and after I end up meeting my friend the corporate executive for a drink. Actually, I meet him for a quick bite, he’s drinking. He gets drunker and a bit more belligerent, which reminds me why we are not dating. I tell him what happened to LP. I don’t tell him that GT and I split or my new much more active dating life.

On Friday, which is the day on which I usually talk to the Writer on the phone, we don’t. He’s slammed with work and he’s going out of town for the holiday and whatever. I text him while I am drinking wine with my girlfriend RA. We exchange a few texts and confirm we will be seeing each other next week.

I have a date scheduled with the lawyer, but he’s being an asshole and not confirming a time, despite my multiple requests that he do so.

A little before 730, I decide that I am bored and lonely and I want to be sure that I am visibly out, so I take myself to a wine tasting some three blocks from our house. It was amazing, though I was the only person not there on a date. It was also free, which was perfect. I had a little money (precious little) because my cousin decided to pay me to do some work, so I felt much more comfortable being there in case something was great and I had to have it. Instead, I end up in this great conversation with the wine rep, which then leads me into a conversation with the ceo of the company the next day and that’s the sort of thing that makes me love my life.

Really, I am exceptionally social . . . obviously . . . and getting into a great conversation about wine is the type of thing that makes me very, very happy.  I head to a nearby let’s call it a restaurant, but it’s way cooler and more random than that.  The lawyer has been texting me, and I tell him he is welcome to meet me, but he is still being sort of a dick about confirming anything, so I decide to walk back to the house.  Before I do, I shoot him another text.

Me: Are you interested in meeting me out or not? 8:12 PM

Lawyer: We r at the park 8:27 PM
Me: That is non-responsive. Which is like [your] point 8:29 PM
Lawyer: That is a sad panda. 😦 9:01 PM
Me: Au contraire. I’m a rather happy panda. 9:03 PM
Lawyer: So, what does happy panda want? 9:09 PM
Me: World peace. A new job. And for my foot to stop hurting 9:10 PM
Lawyer: Ice. 9:10 PM
Lawyer: Peace begins w/in you. Your happiness spreads throughout the world. 9:13 PM
Me: Truth. 9:15 PM
Me: I am a peace-spreading food adventuring […] 9:15 PM
Me: And I have a wound from breaking up [dog and cat] 9:16 PM
Lawyer: What happened? 9:17 PM
Lawyer: Starting to fade here…place your orders now! 9:19 PM
Me: Heh. Good night! 9:19 PM
Lawyer: 😦 9:22 PM
Me: Why sad? You’re fading 9:23 PM
Lawyer: [Lawyer] delivers! 9:25 PM
Lawyer: But, no orders, no delivery. 9:26 PM
Me: When you bailed on me, I took myself out for wine and then came home for dinner. 9:26 PM
Me: I texted you from a restaurant at which you could have met me 9:26 PM
Lawyer: U must have texted someone else. 9:28 PM
Me: Are you interested in meeting me out or not? 9:29 PM
Me: We r at the park 9:29 PM
Me: That was my text at 812 and your response at 827 9:30 PM
Me: I also sent you a photo from the same place of the candy display 9:30 PM
Lawyer: And I responded 9:30 PM
Me: Ultimately it’s not a big deal. I planned to see you, asked you to confirm a time, you didn’t, so I went out anyway 9:31 PM
Me: “Basic” 9:31 PM
Me: Had you wanted to see me, you could have. 9:32 PM
Lawyer: I wrote as soon as I got home from the park. Sorry. 9:36 PM
Me: We were in communication before you left. I’m busy and there are other things I could have done tonight but I want Ed to see you. 9:37 PM
Me: Like I said, it’s not a big deal. I had a nice time at this wine thing and I am perfectly comfortable being by myself 9:39 PM

And that’s sort of my point now.  Here was a man — much like men I have dated in the past, thinking that he’s entitled to conflate exasperating and charming and that I will fall into line and be happy just because he’s taking me out to a fabulous restaurant and dropping a lot of money.  What. Ever.

I don’t care.

And I am not tolerating bullshit.

If we have dinner plans, then MAKE A PLAN.  If you want to see me, make some effort.  I am too busy and — frankly — too popular to wait around for you.

An interesting side note to my relationship with the Writer is that he — through admiration and emotional support — has enabled me to raise my game.  Again, it’s likely all part and parcel of the changes I have been undergoing, but I don’t want to diminish his impact either.

From the store-cum-restaurant I adore where I was texting the lawyer, I also texted the Writer. Because they were playing the same semi-obscure song by the band the Writer and I had been discussing two weeks earlier prior to my first date with the lawyer, which was then in the restaurant.

The Writer texts me back hours later, after midnight when I was already in bed.

He is really just checking in to say goodnight, which was awesome, and then he texted me again 30 minutes later to ask if I had been thinking about him.