After missing LP, I went to my gym to take class for the last time with our trainer who is going on pregnancy/maternity leave. BFD was going to be there … late … but bearing a gift I’d helped him select that was sort of from us. It was a 4 hour spa appointment at the chicest spa in town — massage, mani/pedi, facial — and he was sure to include tip. Very thoughtful.
I have done two scandalous things today . . .
1. I flirted outrageously with LP and almost saw him by design, but failed because we have awful timing!
2. I kissed BFD and told him I would have “taken one for the team” (i.e., gotten pregnant).
First, I do want to clarify that TNG and I are NOT exclusive and he is not certain that I am the girl for him. Crazy, I know! We sort of broke up and reconciled last night (on our 2 month anny), and at this point, I am more into him than he is into me. He says. He has well-entrenched defense mechanisms and walls and trip wires and gun turrets and who the hell knows. So the fact that I did two scandalous things does not affect my relationship with TNG.
TNG, my sweetheart, is the most tech savvy of anyone I’ve dated since A. I was worried that he found the site, so I stopped posting.
For me, this site is super-anonymous and needs to be that way, as it’s my diary.
I have spoken to a couple of you in real life — or realish, anyway — but breaking that barrier is still weird.
I am again feeling more confident that he’s not found the site and is not reading it.
I have missed posting daily and there is a lot going on. Though there is lots of forward movement, there are still difficulties and hardships and stresses.
I am trying to figure things out while allowing myself to enjoy being with a wonderful man I adore, who seems to adore me.
It’s pretty late here, about 1238 am.
TNG is sleeping next to me. His stomach is sick from the richness of tonight’s dinner. We had a bacchanal at a lovely chef-owned creative place. 4 courses, each of which we shared, a bottle of wine, an after dinner espresso, a third dessert.
I have pms, so I ate everything in sight, and my stomach is fine. His . . . is not.
Thanks to the espresso, I am up and wired. I love hearing him breathe. Every few minutes, he wakes himself up, his stomach roiling. Then he nods back off.