At some point, I will go back and update the blog to capture what’s been happening for the past week or so. I’ve been writing, but not finishing anything, so distracted, so upset, I’ve been incapable of doing anything.
The short version: things with BFD have been sucktastic for a week, maybe longer. We have been mostly apart, he’s been largely absent and when we have been together it’s been a bit tense. I had to borrow money from him (very short-term, but still), and it’s made him more aggressive in giving me advice and counsel about choices I should make about my future. In addition, he is dealing with a serious business crisis that has been distracting him for weeks.
Because we have had very difficult, painful conversations, I have wanted to look him in the eye to make sure that things were okay. I know that sounds silly, but he admitted the truth to me about his most recent ex-girlfriend and told me specifically that they broke up in large part because she became financially dependent upon him and it upset the balance of power in their relationship. He said, “I don’t want that to happen again.”
Okay, that’s fair, but she was a pilates instructor and I am a lawyer.
Anyway, after that conversation on Thursday morning, I called him Thursday afternoon and it was tense and awful. We did not see each other on Friday because he was exhausted and cranky, but we had plans on Saturday. Saturday canceled when he “forgot” he had a business dinner out of town. I asked if he wanted to see me after since he told me when he’d be home and I never heard a word from him. I called him late Saturday night and never heard back.